Some Perfectly Good Reasons Why You Might Not Call Me

You...

A. are in Idaho hunting mushrooms

B. are in the Boeing overstock warehouse climbing a pile of desks

C. heard that Mercury was in retrograde until the 30th, causing communication to be subject to mishap and misunderstanding and don't want to risk it

E. just grabbed the Hubble Space Telescope and are preparing for some tough repairs

F. are hiding under a blanket with a bucket of chicken, crying and watching Steel Magnolias

G. were eaten by sunflowers

H. are stuck in line at the new penguin exhibit at Woodland Park Zoo

I. got your fingers stuck in the fax machine

J. are not allowed contact with the outside world until after the final episode airs

K. are on tour in Spain with Wilco

L. are engaged in a bitter fight to the death with the DOR

M. have to defend the fax machine at a conference of scanner manufacturers

N. have top secret FOE business to attend to

O. got two tickets to paradise

P. are running with the devil

Q. slept in! All day!

R. went coo-coo for cocoa puffs

S. are busy buying the world a coke

T. are in Chicago taping the Dr Phil show about girls who talk too long to other guys at the bar

U. have a lot more Scientific Americans to read before you are caught up

V. are racing for the cure

W. have resigned due to the Miss California controversy

X. are just wishing the work would do itself

Y. got your heel stuck in a crack in the sidewalk and can't get it loose without help

Z. just don't really feel like talking to me