Saturday, June 07, 2008
My little men
So, the boys are three months old and this week I go back to work.
The past thirteen weeks with them have been so fantastic for me. Seeing them change on a daily basis, watching every little 'first', having them give me their milky smiles and giggles and little cat cries has opened my heart to the point of collapse.
To me, they are the most fascinating creatures and when I am away from them, even for a little while, it feels like I am missing a limb. I can hardly imagine what it will be like to be away from them for the majority of the day starting Wednesday.
I'm lucky, we've found someone to care for them who treats them with love and tenderness and attentiveness that I barely dared hope for. She also does for them things that I just haven't had the energy too - baths first thing in the morning? Every day? Not after the midnight, 3AM, 6AM, and 8AM feedings! Mommy needs a nap!
But that's also part of the difficulty of leaving them with her. They give her those milky smiles. They giggle for her too. She gets to spend all day bathing in their untutored adoration, and it breaks my heart a bit to think about it.
I know that I am their mommy, and she can't replace me. I know that I will have experiences with them that she won't, but still it is pulling at my heartstrings and I expect the next few weeks to be a bit teary-eyed around these parts.
I remember Dad telling me once that having children was like letting your heart walk around outside of your body. Now I really know what he meant.
I'll be leaving my heart(s) in somebody else's hands.
Posted by LadyGripe at 6/07/2008