Heather (referring to my freshly-pumped breast milk sitting on the console): How long can you leave your breastmilk out?
Me: Oh, for hours. I'm going to top off that bottle in a little while.
Eugene (to Heather): Have you tasted it? It's sweet!
Heather (look of semi-grossed-outness on her face): You've tasted it?
Me: Of course, just a little... I mean I'm giving it to the babies...
Eugene (to Heather): I dare you to taste it...
Grabs bottle, unscrews pump... tries to hand it to Heather who shrinks away from it like it's radioactive...
Heather: What do I get?
Me: NO!!! Milk is for the babies! You're going to contaminate it! At least use a spoon!
Eugene: I'll give you fifty bucks if you drink it!
Me: No! For the babies!
Heather: Not enough... take tomorrow off and watch the boys so that I can take Ali for a pedicure and I'll taste it...
Eugene: Done! But you have to drink the whole thing!
Me: No! The babies!!!!
Heather: Fifty bucks, you take the day off and I will drink the whole thing!
Eugene: Okay!
Me: No! The babies!
Eugene gets a glass from the kitchen, pours the milk into the bottle... Heather starts to drink... plugging her nose as she goes...
Me: No! The babies! Ewwwww!
Heather finishes the glass.... I look to Eugene...
ME: Okay, you have to take tomorrow off now...
Heather and Eugene: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha
They pranked me! The breast milk was just milk.
Well played... well played....
3 comments:
You forgot to depict your hysterical, tears-in-your-eyes, abdominal-workout laughter Allison!! I thought you might burst a blood vessel laughing.
I love it! The question of the day... did Eugene take the day off and did you get a pedicure?
What is so great about this is that the way you tell it got all of us (at least the "me" of "all of us") the way Heather and Eugene must have gotten you! I was thinking, Heather is such a good sister! I love my sisters and want to take them for pedicures but I don't know if I'd slam their breast milk...kind of glad to know Heather that you wouldn't either... :)
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