Thursday, July 31, 2008

He's like the anti-Christ(ian)

I am totally trademarking 'diaperlicious'...

So the new season of Project Runway totally snuck up up on me. Since I can't think about clothes for myself (still working on the post-babies belly), I guess I was distracted by the onesies fashions that are currently dominating my fashion brain and I barely realized that it was time for a new season!

I watch all the Bravo shows where they typically publicize the hell out of theses things... and I guess I must have fast-forwarded through the marketing campaign with my DVR...

Any hoo, first let me say that it is totally unfair that Heidi Klum has had three babies under the age of five and looks the way she does. I am really hoping that she is rocking some Spanx under those mini-skirts... but somehow I doubt it.

Tim Gunn was… well, Tim Gunn. I am sad that he is no longer a Dean at Parsons, because - as an alumni - I thought that it was nice to imagine someone so constructively critical on the faculty there. But good for him to get the big corporate bucks!

I hope he gets a lovely pied a terre in Paris!

I recently found out that he was unpaid for the first season and got only $2500 an episode for the second season, so I totally understand him cashing in on the show's success. At least on Tim Gunn's Guide to Style, he makes sure the clothes fit the makeover victims properly, as opposed to some other shows.. where everyone looks all wackadoo and have camel toes all over the place.

Wait, there's only one place you can have a camel toe, but you know what I mean.

Anyhoo, in the first episode I especially loved when he popped the cork for the champagne at the beginning and it went over the side of the building. And the look of abject horror on his face. Hee!

This season, they have the usual assortment of: Rocker Designer, Avante Garde Minimalist Designer, Wackadoo Character ‘Self-taught’ Designer, Heterosexual Male Designer, Whimsical Chick with Tattoos Designer, Former Model Designer… and so on and so forth ad nauseum.

Oh, wait! There’s no Overweight Queenie Designer this season! Shocking!

I don’t want to talk too much about the challenges, in case you haven’t seen them yet, but I loved seeing Austin Scarlet in the first episode. He is so delightfully glamorous and twee. I think he wears about five times more make-up than I do. Actually, he wears five times more make-up than anyone I know does.

In a bizarre turnaround, my least favorite character of the season started out as Blayne from…. Seattle. It made me sad that I couldn't be all psyched for a hometown hero, but his ‘obsession with tanning’, hideous diaper outfit (if only he’d really used real diapers!) and constant attempt to create a catchphrase… by adding 'licious' to the end of virtually any word, just plucked at my very last nerve! It’s bad enough to use a phrase made popular by the Pussycat Dolls (Girlicious in the first episode... don’t get me started…), but to attach it to an outfit that is anything but girlicious is absurd. He should have called the outfit diaperlicious!

Now he has totally grown on me.

He's like the bizarro Christian Siriano. Where Christian was all tiny, dark haired and pale and twee and bitchy... he's all tiny, blond and tan and twee and bitchy. I am not sold on the idea that he has Christian's level of talent (he loves the neon colors a bit too much for my taste and doesn't necessarily have Christian's tailoring skills) but he makes for some entertaining moments.

My other favorite characters? Stella, who loves the 'leathuh' and reminds me of Biker Cher Barbie. I don't think she'll win, because clothing made from leather is one-trick-pony kind of fashion... but she's definitely a character... And Kenley, who I think could be a winner.

She's got this retro style that is totally appealing and yet she manages to turn out outfits that are refreshing and original AND appear well made. When Tim is all afraid that your outfit is going to look to 'costume-y' because of the fabrics you've chosen and you still manage to pull off a win... that looks awesome and original and anything but costume-y, I think you've got mad skills!

Now, my least favorite character is Suede.. I can't take someone referring to themselves in the third person constantly. It just feels like he's trying too hard - especially with his faux-hawk. Eck.

You can't rock the faux-hawk unless you are under the age of ten, your mama is Angelina Jolie, and our name ends in an 'x'.

Suffice to say, I think it is going to be an awesome season.


Barb said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!! The little bits and pieces I can see on the videos isn't enough for me. Thanks for keeping me in the loop until I can visit mom and watch a marathon. (Oh, how I miss my bravo.)

P.S. I didn't realize you were a parsons alum. Maybe you can direct me to fashionable clothing for breastfeeding moms whose boobs now resemble tube socks filled with pudding. :)

Allison said...

Barb, I wish I knew where the fashionable clothes for breastfeeding mums of any variety were! I really haven't seen any.

Isabella Oliver has some tops, but they look a bit odd to me.

I wear the GlamourMom nursing tanks and just layer them with other clothes. I've lost all the baby weight and then some, but I'm trying to avoid buying much until my belly has settled on a size... so I fit into my old clothes, but just differently.

Sadly, not differently in a good way... but that's a post for another day.

Barb said...

Thanks, Alison. And ditto. Ditto. Ditto. Bfing takes care of the babyweight (and then some) but it's all rearranged. Takes a little getting used to.