Thursday, August 24, 2006

I Hate Jeffrey

For those of you who may not have seen Project Runway yet this week, you may not want to read further. Not that my dislike of this slimy, self-important prick is based solely on this weeks behavior - it isn't - but this week he certainly committed his most egregious acts to date.

Against both people and fashion.

First off, let me say that I find his whole 'I am so fashion forward, and you are all so boooooring' attitude to be complete BS. And as a graduate of Parsons, follower of fashion, and longtime resident of one of the most pretentious neighborhoods in NYC, I think I should be able to recognize high-grade BS like that when I see it.

I worked at SPIN, yo. Back in the DAY!

If I had seen one outfit from him that I thought was remotely attractive, I might have more patience for it. But I truly think that he is just one of those fuckwits who is edgy just to be edgy. He's feeding his own ego by believing that his absurd concepts are beyond the comprehension of mere mortals. Rather, his work is the same flavor of 'edge' that has been redolent in neighborhoods like the Lower East Side and Alphabet City... and - heaven forfend - Williamsburg for about a grillion years now.

Maybe in LA it reads as edgy, but in NYC I could find it at Trash and Vaudville ten years ago.


Also, I find his neck tattoo so revolting that every time I see it, I want to reach through the screen and rub it off with a washcloth. It has to be temporary, doesn't it? Or, Lord, is he REALLY that stupid?


Any hoo, this week I was just BEYOND, watching him treat Angela's mother so poorly.

Instead of wanting to obliterate the neck tattoo, I wanted to reach through the screen and use it as guidelines for throttling him.

Now, I can understand that a somewhat dough-ish woman in her 5os is not his ideal client. And I understand that Angela is not his favorite person. But for the Little Baby Buddah's sake, how can you make someone's mommy cry on national television and not feel like a complete ass hat?

Plus, he made his own mother cry and, while he may delude himself that it was because she was so proud of how far he's come since his 'junky days,' we all know that it was because she couldn't believe that she'd given birth to the spawn of Satan. I think she went to go bathe in holy water after she'd hugged him.

Most importantly though, how can you make an outfit best described on the show as 'Comme de Garcon meets Amish Country' and not get kicked off?

I mean, yes, Robert's outfit was not 'fashion-forward' but his model was like 500 pounds! 490 if you give her credit for the ten that the television cameras put on. At least he gave her an outfit she felt good in, or at least as good as she ever seemed to feel. Meeee-OW! Plus she was Vincent's sister and if any nutbag is unlikeable, it is most certainly him.

If I hear 'It gets me off' from his nasty lips one more time. Well, I can't even think of an appropriately vitriolic action to define what my response would be.

Suffice to say it will be ugly and poor Eugene will have to witness it.

I am still in denial that he won for a dress that made Uli's mom's arms look like flabby chicken legs.

Back to our villain though, I have really never seen an outfit from Jeffrey that I found either likeable or memorable. Newspaper origami dress? Egad, who chose those colors? Is radioactive cat puke fashion forward now?

And the dress this week looked like someone had put a tent with a v-neck over a cheap button-down blouse from K-mart. Every time I saw it it made my eyes bleed.

I know that Alison, sweet Alison (Eugene's favorite) liked him. But when I would see them together it diminished her in my eyes. Like someone rubbing elephant dung on a fluffy white bunny rabbit.

Step away from the sleezebag! He may have a girlfriend and baby at home, but his body language is telling s that he wants you to be his next baby mama!

I know that they kept him for the drama factor. And I have no doubt that he'll bring it, for sure.

I just wish he brought some actual talent with all the hubris.

On a happier note, I thought Tim Gunn was as cute as a button as he walked all the designers and their mothers to Tavern on the Green. Love Tim Gunn!

And Laura is preggers again? My god woman! She cracked me up though when Uli was pouring herself a glass of wine and she asked for one too. And when they asked her what she'd do with another baby.

"Throw it on the pile with the others, I guess."

1 comment:

Heather said...

ah ha hee hee haa haa! Stop, it hurts!

Oh dear. Well, you said everything I wanted to. I was PISSED when catching up with Project Runway meant that cuter-than-Tippi-Hedren Alison was kicked off. Vincent, wow. How did he make it instead of her?

Uli was robbed this week! Her outfit was the best.