Potty Mouth

In an effort to remind you of how very Angelina Jolie-esque I am,
sans the babies and Brad Pitt, here is a picture of me
from a marketplace in India. The smile, it looks good, but it is tainted!

Guess what!

I have two brand new fillings!

Aren't I a lucky girl? Aren't you sorry you left all of this civilization nonsense behind? I get to have all the fillings! I get to hoard them and keep them all to myself!

Bwahahahahahaha!!!!!

As usual, the dentist pointed out how lovely and white and straight my teeth were.

Do I bleach? No.

Did I have braces? No.

Then I cracked open my jaw and gave him a gander at the rotten, festering smuthole that is my mouth. (Let's see what weird anonymous comments we get from that string of words... hmmm?)

Lo and behold, my teeth are rotten to the core.

So I got all shot up with the drugs - you know, not the good kind, but the kind that make your jaw bone hurt and leave an icky taste in your mouth.

And then I got drilled drilled drilled to pieces.

Tonight I was having dinner with my climbing ladies at one of my favorite restaurants and I was practically reduced to mashed potatoes and soup!

Well, actually I was reduced to pan seared scallops and wild mushroom risotto with goat cheese, but still! What if I had wanted the duck? Eugene got to have the duck!

Next month I get to re-do a root canal that I had ten years ago. Woohoo! Flexible spending cash to be spent!

Can you knit me some consomme for my recovery?

ps. On a happy note, the dentist looked like Dr. Burke from Grey's Anatomy, not Dr. Patelli. And he had better breath. And he didn't breathe weird through his nose like Dr. Patelli.