Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Yo Happy New Year
Hi, I am the Bad Allison from Last Year (AKA AMCVintage2006). I'm here to tell you some of the things the New and Improved Allison won't be doing this year.
She won't go to the gym less than six times a month. I know everybody does the gym resolution, but six times a month seems wildly reasonable, doesn't it?
She won't drink Friexnet Champagne, not even to be polite to her hostess. (I am using the word 'champagne' very loosely here) Okay, there are a lot of things she won't be drinking but this tops the list. This and Jagermeister. Definetly no Jagermeister either.
She won't buy more than one pair of shoes at the Saks After Christmas Sale. Okay, it's easy because she already bought one pair, but it's a new year so she could buy one more, right? And of course this doesn't take into account the Bergdorf's After Christmas Sale. Or the After Christmas Sale at Barneys or Bendels... or Scoop...
She won't be late to work. Except on mornings when they think that she should be there at some unreasonable, arbitrary hour - like 9 AM. I mean, the subways are brutal at 8:45! Who can get to work at 9 Am with that kind of crush?
She won't buy her coffee at Starbucks. Okay, that's easy because she's not buying coffee anywhere - but she won't buy their green tea chai either! Too much sugar. How's that?
She won't chastise her husband when he ummm.. toots. Let's just call that a losing battle.
She won't wear orange lipstick. Again, this may seem easy, but in 2006 orange lipstick got tried. And it was as wrong as ever.
And now for some things she will be doing this year!
She will keep track of her dreams better. She had this doozy about New Years at her friend HK's weekend house with Posh Spice and David Beckham. This is good stuff people!
She will change her earrings more often. She has lots of nice earrings and it's sad to see those same sad gold hoops every day.
She will moisturize her face. Every morning and every night. Especially around the eyes. No joke people, the dermis is in need of love.
She will go to bed before midnight every night. Of course, it's always before midnight somewhere right? She didn't specify a time zone.
She will tell her husband she loves him every night. Even if he has just tooted. In bed.
Well, I think that that is about as virtuous as a person can get, no? Unless of course, you have some other resolutions to suggest...
Posted by LadyGripe at 1/02/2007