Thursday, November 15, 2007

It's Gone All to Rain Here

... and still I'm walking to work most days. Monday was the first bad time, when I arrived at work all cold and soaked, bedraggled, bits of wet leaf stuck to my stockings. I drank hot things all day but never warmed up all the way through. Still, the days I drive, everything just seems to happen too fast, and I wish for the walk home, and then home. Home is changing these days. There are clean towels and you could sit at the table in the kitchen and eat dinner if you wanted to. You could even open the fridge and make dinner, just from what's there already. I've made myself tea two nights in a row and yesterday I burned a candle and I think the bills are all paid.

The walks home have done some of this. I'm so happy to get here at the end of the day. I'm ready to come home and stay here, and that's a change for me. Things are getting to be a little more habitual, and while there are many things I miss about my time off, this is really what I was hoping the return to work would mean. A settling down, digging in kind of thing. Now that it's here, it feels really really good.

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