Behold danger

Eugene and his spud gun. And beer. It has a tazer for an igniter.

Need I say more?

This is belated, but worth it I think.

I found the camera! Woohoo!

Ladies!

Jessica Simpson on her way to being arrested by the fashion police.

Let this be a lesson to you! Highwaisted pants are bad enough, but high-waisted pants that give you camel-toe are criminal! You've made the little baby buddha's eyes bleed with these ensembles! Stop! Stop now!


I don't know if Mischa Barton is friends with Jessica Simpson, but I am thinking that she must be. It's noble of her to try and help her friend start a 'trend' but really she just looks godawful.
How can a person be so skinny, have so much money and free clothing available to them, and still end up in an outfit that makes them look like they have a fupa?

Hee, I just wanted to use fupa in a post. These girls made it easy. Horribly easy.

Foodie Delight

The baker's dozen at Oyster Creek Inn

Only a few more days left in the oyster months! At least until September. I went to LaConner this weekend to see mom (more on that later) and we had oysters and champagne with every meal other than breakfast. Must keep up on my resolutions!

I never did post the final items on that list. I figured I would spread them out over the course of the year. You know, always have something to work on. So, here are a few of the goals that were heretofore unpublished, though not necessarily unaccomplished.

- visit the Tate Modern (I've wanted to since it opened!)
- visit the new MoMA in NYC (hmm... I posted so few of my NYC visit photos, clearly I must remedy that soon)
- fly a kite
- finish a draft of my novel
- cook more ( no need to say how much when ANY cooking would count as "more")

The first three, no problem, The last two? I'm not sure which is more unlikely. The other day Elvis told me "I don't think I've ever seen you cook a meal." He meant that lovingly, of course, just one of my charming quirks. I did have a rebuttal, some quite nice meals to remind him of, the pork with apricot glaze, an excellent lasagna with sauce made from scratch, some Asian-inspired something I made while I was living at Waji... but, well, you see where this is leading, don't you? When you can remember every meal you've made in the past three years, it means you don't cook very much.


Here I am trying to remedy that. Sort-of. Technically, Bruce Naftaly did the cooking. I helped by doing the wine drinking, listening intently and eating every morsel that was passed my way. So this is cooking class! I like! So much that I signed up for next month, and am optimistic that the asparagus/celery root soup may some day be recreated in my own kitchen. He prepared three other dishes in the three hours we were there, but that was the one that really spoke to me and my cooking skills.


But wait! The day's cooking did not stop there! After class we went to Ballard Market and bought ingredients for a cucumber mignonette to go with the oysters I brought home from my weekend adventure (a dozen Kumamoto, two dozen little Olympias). Both the mignonette and the oysters were delicious, and the recipe for mignonette made a ton, so if any of you Seattleites find yourself needing any in the next few days, you know who to call.

Impressed yet? Don't be, I haven't done a thing on the novel since Thursday!

Hope you had a great weekend too.

XOXO
H

Open Toed Shoes At Last!

Let's talk about the weather, shall we? One thing I am loving about my life these days is how important the weather is to me. When I worked in an office every day, I didn't care too much what the weather was like. In fact, I often said that it was sort-of nice that it rains so much here, since it kept me from feeling like I was missing anything. Now, so much depends on the weather. Whether I'm in Portland, New York, London, Seattle, wherever. Weather, and shoes.

That's because I've been taking walks almost every day. For the most part, Seattle has been cooperating, though I rarely leave the house without some kind of rain jacket with me. I can't wait until I can forego the rain gear and go out in a summer dress. I'm obsessed with summer dresses - I've bought five in as many weeks.

All of which will be perfect for evenings at Sambar this summer. Ah, Sambar. I hate to even put the link here, because there are only four seats at the bar, and I want one of them to be mine at all times. I'll take the risk here though, since there are more than a few of you readers who I would be happy to have beside me on any given night. Tonight I was there for five hours. Five! I have to admit, I was exhausted by the end of it. That's a long time to be charming, even for me. It's a long time to be drinking too, but don't anyone freak out about my habits quite yet. Susan and I had dinner there, and there were fruity non-alcoholic drinks, and frites and sturgeon with Peter, and then dessert and hot tea at the end. And of course, a few of Jay's magical concoctions spread out over the course of the evening. Peter the chemist took one look at Jay and said "You look like a mad scientist!" And he's not wrong, exactly. As long as you allow that mad scientist might be another term for "magician"

Speaking of magicians... yesterday morning I went in to Seven to see Shelli. For the past few weeks I've been itching to chop all my hair off, so that's exactly what we did. Sneak preview above, more to come soon. Right now the longest layers hit my shoulders, but I'm thinking next time, we're going even shorter...

That's the news from here. Trivial, maybe, but at least it's all sunny!

XOXO
H

The Extra Special Post That You, Allison, Were Waiting For!

There you go, Ali. The man of your dreams, Josey Ladd Marsh! Also known, for obvious reasons, as Scrumptious. He really is a sweetie pie. Dakota brought him to see me at the cofee shop today and he was so good while we chatted. He was definitely making little grabby moves towards Dakota's latte, proving himself a true Seattle native. He looks so much like Clay around the eyes, but Ali! He looks like someone else we know! You know, funny brow fat and bald bowling ball head! Dear Reader, one of your bloggers MAY have looked like this as an infant. Possibly well into her first year. Hint: I looked like this.

Isn't Dakota cute too? It was so good to see her. As far as the mom thing goes, she's a natural. She looked all... beatific. I thought one of the nicest moments was when her whole face lit up at the mention of Clay and how much he is enjoying Joseph. Needless to say, we missed you. I gave him lots of smooches for you, though.

There were more cute boys later in the evening - Kevin and Pete. Don't they look enthralled? Of course they do, they're looking at Regan!

Look at that dimple! It was the day of dimples. Josey has just one. Anyway, Regan's so cute, it makes me all talkative. After the boys left, the talk of global warming ceased and we moved on to all the other important topics in the world, like how tight your jeans should really be the first day out of the dryer. Hey, look, sometimes it's really best to focus on the things you can control. We all have our own ways of making the planet more beautiful, you know?

Stalking Noah Racey

So, at most high schools there is one person who is the STAR of all of the plays and musicals. Typically, that person goes on to live a normal respectable life like my friend Mark, who is the mayor of Bothell. He’s a Republican, but I still think he’s pretty swell. I’m not sure he’s respectable, being a Republican politician, but he’s swell nonetheless.

He starred in most of the productions from my sophomore year until my senior year (Brigadoon, anyone?) and then went off to become a lawyer and future baby-kisser and glad-handler.

But my freshman year we had the other kind of theater star. The kind who really believes that it is in his or her bones and wants to stick with it. Wants to star in a big Broadway show and see their name in lights three feet tall.

Noah Racey was such a person and, guess what! He did it!

A couple of years ago, he starred on Broadway in a show called Never Gonna Dance. It was based on a Fred Astaire movie (Swing Time, I think) and as soon as I found out, I bought tickets for myself and my friend Dana (who also went to Roosevelt, at the same time) to go see it.

He was marvelous, I mean just a wonderfully athletic and smooth dancer and a consummate leading man. Like Fred Astaire, if he’d been better looking.

We stood at the stage door after the show, with my old yearbook in hand and got his signature. Frankly, I am exactly that kind of nerd.

I think that he was actually quite touched. That winter was a terribly cold one which killed a lot of Broadway shows prematurely, including his, and we were at one of the final performances. He seemed to have a lot of fun showing his co-stars the photos of him starring in our high school musical – 42nd Street, I think.

Any hoo, he’s back on the big white way now. He’s in a show called Curtains, which is starring David Hyde Pierce, of Frasier fame. It's gotten some buzz, and the weather (constant rain notwithstanding) is okay, so hopefully it will stay open for a good long while.

Dana and I have our tickets! We’re going next Thursday! I dug out this old picture of him – do you think I should bring it for him to sign?

Woohoo! Tolot 1997!! Ah, the good old days...

ps. I am not really stalking him, it’s a joke… I am just really happy for him and proud that someone I once knew is really making his dreams come true.

Seattle Sunday

The Nectar boys crush Victoria

We had some crazy weather in Seattle this weekend. Rain, then sun, then rain. Luckily, on Sunday it stayed clear enough for a day of Lacrosse watching. Lacrosse is such a great spectator sport, fast and elegant, but yes, brutal. After I left the field, I was wishing I had gotten some good injury photos. An injury from a lacrosse stick is a pretty distinctive thing - it's this welt/bruise that turns all kinds of impressive colors.

This guy used to come home covered in them, but on Sunday he was spared due to a hamstring injury from the game the day before. This meant that watching the game was even more fun for me, since I got to hear his color commentary and cheers such as "Whack Whack Whack!!" We went to Red Mill and got burgers, onion rings and sparkling lemonade to get us through the second game. Not too bad for an almost-summer day.

After the lacrosse fest, we made a field trip to Swanson's for some plants for my window boxes. I even got my hands in the dirt. I swear!

Oh, And PS Allison...

You need to find your camera!!!

Grown-Up Portland

Is this the official color scheme for Portland hipster hotels?

One of the nights I was in Portland, Mark watched the kids (that's Scarlet in the photo below) so that Candice and I could have girl's night out. We had a great meal at Savoy in Portland - Chicken Kiev with mac and cheese plus greens for me, and we shared the fried cheese curds, which we dipped in tomato soup. Wish I had some now. There may have been some Clinton cocktails consumed, and yes we did talk about all the things you think we talked about. I love Candice for that. I think it had been a year since we saw each other last, but within 24 hours we were talking about manscaping (okay, that was me) and, well, that's all I'm gonna tell you. It's more than enough anyway, isn't it?

A Smidgeon of Portland Love

I made a quick trip to Portland this weekend to see the Gourds and managed to finally see Candice, Mark, Eden and Scarlet. I love going to Portland and never have enough time there to see all the people I want to. I think most of my friends have heard me say "I should just move there..." at some point or another. My girlfriends Amber and Candice are a big draw (not that I don't have fantastic girlfriends in Seattle, you all know I do!) and then there are all the yarn stores, and the cute little neighborhoods, like Alberta street, where I bought the cute dress that looks like a tablecloth for a picnic. Only without ants. Or crumbs. Yet.

So much more to write about! I feel terribly behind, but there are other things that need my attention at the moment, so I'll have to save more about NY (Stephanie! Lunch at Freemans! Passover at the Jasens! MoMA with Darren!) and London and Edinburgh (so many cute Ella and Kristin photos!) for later.

XOXO
H

Are The Malcolm Sisters Out of Control?

It's taken us weeks to accumulate the evidence that these two sisters were obviously out for more than just a 'good time' during a recent weekend together in New York. Are they just fun loving party girls? Or was there something more to their time out on the town?

March 24th

Allison flees down an East Village street, attempting to evade the paparazzi with a clever disguise and some fast footwork.

She was caught later in the evening with a friend, who bundled her away from the flashbulbs as quickly as possible.

March 24th


Heather was also caught heading for a night out and tried to duck into the deli to avoid our lenses. She was looking particularly vixenish in her off-white vest from Trash and Vaudeville , which we believe was fitted on her by no other than the notorious Jimmy Web of New Yorker fame.

The two met up and partied for hours at the notorious Pyramid Club and the Tiki Room at Niagara. Party-goers supplied us with the photos above of what can only be described as a disheveled looking Allison.

March 25th

Later in the evening we were able to catch up to Heather as she let the Tiki Room, after heading North towards her sister's Manhattan apartment. Home so early? We think not.

We were intrigued, so we followed her. She cooperated with our photographer at first, and we managed to catch her shopping for food - just like normal people! But is she at the store for more than just some yogurt?

We do love her down-to-earth nature. She's a star but so humble.

She tried to wave the photogs off, but they followed. Where are you off to Heather? And where is your sister?

Allison was being held by the police! A police horse that is. But is it really as innocent as it looks, or did big sis have to bail her out? Again, enquiring minds want to know!

The laughing sisters mugged for the camera one last time, before heading in at what can only be described as an early morning hour.

What ladies, no breakfast at Tiffanys?

Because You, Dear Reader, Deserve More Photos. You Really Do.

Some random Edinburgh photos for you. More to come later when it isn't so sunny and beautiful here in Seattle. I love that I managed to travel to three of the few cities (NYC, London, Edinburgh) that could make Seattle look balmy and bright. In a minute I'm off to check out SAM's new sculpture garden, just down the hill from my apartment, but wanted to post a few of the hundreds of photos from my trip.

I had such a fantastic time, and it felt a lot longer than two weeks. I highly recommend the trip-within-a-trip-within-a-trip format for making fourteen days seem like forty. In a good way. Except for that food poisoning rubbish.

Big kisses and thank you's to Kristin and Ella, who I miss already, and of course to you, Allison. Hanging out with you every day felt totally normal and easy, but the truth is, this was a really special trip for me, and I can't possibly articulate how happy I was to be able to spend so much time with you.

XOXO
smidget

I Survived!

Though I have to admit, I'm not quite feeling 100% yet. I did manage to get out today in the NY sunshine for a latte, though. The barista, it turns out, is from the PNW, and when one of the other patrons there found out I was from Seattle, he asked "So, is the coffee here better than Cafe Versace?"

I think he meant Vivace. Hee!

Six Words You Hope Never To Think To Yourself 24 Hours Before a Trans-Atlantic Flight

"I think I'm gonna be sick."

No photos today, I'm sure you'll understand why.

I'm sorry to say this is no April Fools Day joke. It happened. Kristin and I got in to her place at Oxford late last night, after the kids were asleep, so that meant that Wyatt's first encounter with me was when he woke up to pee in the middle of the night and found me sleeping next to the toilet. Well, not really sleeping so much as letting the hours pass through my haze, and noticing that your arms will go numb if you lay on hard tile for long enough.

The good news is that if you are going to be violently ill with food poisoning, it is best to do it in the home of your college roommate who no doubt saw you sick in college a few times, for more self-induced reasons, (and about whom you remember a story or two, including something about a radiator), but who is also now the excellent mother of two children and voluntarily, on purpose pregnant with a third. She will be very sweet and understanding and bring you lots of lovely pillows and a big comforter and make the best sympathetic noises and there will be a little toast made for you in the morning. It's okay to refuse her requests that you post, on your blog, for all the world to see, all the food you ate yesterday in airports and Edinbrough pubs and even on the airplane, it really IS too embarassing, so keep that between the two of you.

My other tip for dealing with food poisoning the day before your flight back to the states is to make sure the hotel you book for one night in your departure city is the hotel you MOST want to stay in, not the one that seems like a better deal. After all, it's just one night. And thank god, so is this food poisoning.

And now, I'm off to pack my considerably heavier bags and hope that I can muster up the strength to get them up to my posh rooms at St Martin's Lane.

H

Something for the Non-Johnnies

She looks kind of british in this get-up, doesn't she?

So, while you are off tripping the light fantastic in the UK with precocious four-year-olds and their charming mothers, I have been diligently staying home and resting up in anticipation of your return.

To entertain myself, I turn once more to the boob tube and its endless supply of nonsensical wonders. One of the most daffy, of late, has been Top Design.

Now, I do not love this show. No, I do not love it.

It is not nearly as satisfyingly bitchy as Project Runway or as succulently histrionic as Top Chef. And, quite frankly, the way the show is shot it seems almost impossible to judge for yourself whether one person’s design was more successful than another’s.

And poor Todd Oldham and his maxillofacially challenged self is a bit of a piss-poor host. Though he does seem to be getting better.

And oranger.

Do you think my skin looks orange? Cuz I could kick your ass right off this show! Right now!

I think the more he looks like an Oompa-Loompa, the better his hosting skills get.

However, there are two things that keep me coming back for more each week:

1) Hearing Jonathan Adler say “See ya later, Decorator!” That cracks me UP!

2) Kelly Wearstler and her increasingly insane hair and outfits.

She is one of these women who is so pretty that you imagine she dresses to spite her good looks rather than enhance them.

I am so hot, that you will know I am hot even if I dress like the love child of Bette Davis and a Klingon.

She started out normal enough at the beginning of the season. A little strange, but perfectly in keeping with her status as an expensive and tasteful but edgy interior decorator.

Spring-like striped dress over winter long-johns notwithstanding, at least her hair is under control.

And she has made certain quotes in the past that indicate that she has some sartorial standards:

"In my office, if something looks like shit I want somebody to tell me."

Personal style: "If you show up in a fashion disaster, people will think twice about hiring you."

I cannot tell you how much it cracks me up that she said these things.

I love this outfit! And my hair! Don't you love it? Isn't it GREAT!

She’s a kook and her addled guises are getting better by the week. Maybe next week she’ll rock some fingerless gloves! Or a ponytail on the side of her head! Or white cowboy boots! Or corn rows! Or a leotard over tights! Or a bustle!

Oh wait, she already did that.

These are conceptual ruffles, people!

In all truth, I think she is darling and she really is the reason I tune in each week. We all need a bit more Wearstler in our wardrobes. Let her get all krunky with her wardrobe, I will lap it up!

I also love the fact that she was a Playboy centerfold. Classy and trashy!

Something for the Johnnies

Hey there. Just a quick post, trying not to be on the computer too much since that somehow seems antithetical to the whole unplugged moment I am having here in the UK. I'm having a little withdrawal from my cell phone and computer at the moment. Every once in a while I'll think something is buzzing in my pocket (always check for the wallet after that) or feel like I have forgotten something. But it isn't and I haven't, and that's nice, especially since I have been finding it difficult, since I left my job, to return any phone messages. If you have called me recently and I have not called you back, don't take it personally, you aren't the only one.

We have a long list of things to do tomorrow - there's a promising yarn shop, the Writer's Museum, which I imagine is totally hokey but which I can't help but want to see, and it would be nice to wander over for the view at Arthur's Seat, maybe dinner at the Oyster House, a few other things I'm not remembering now. And most importantly, a trip to the gallery opened by Kristin's husband's father.




What we're hoping for tomorrow is slightly sunnier weather, and, in Ella, a sudden development of interest in boring grown-up things and walking. I love the photo above, the look I'm giving Ella, which I interpret as bemused curiousity tinged with concern, sums up our day together today. I think she's taken having a stranger along quite well, but we do approach each other with some caution and I know when we part ways the day after tomorrow, she will be very happy to have her mum back.

She has really been one of the great pleasures of the trip for me. She wakes up in the morning and before she says a word, she looks over at you and her eyes crinkle up and she gives you a big sleepy smile and wriggles around in bed like it's the most delicious place in the world. When we got in the taxi for the airport this morning, the driver was utterly charmed by her. They told jokes back and forth. Here are a few for your pleasure:

taxi driver: Two eggs were in a pot, boiling away. One of them said to the other "It's hot in here, in't?" and the other said "Just wait until you get your head smashed in!"

Hmmm.... I think I like Ella's better. Here it is:

Ella: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
taxi driver: I dunno, why?
Ella: Because he didn't have any body to go with!

Okay, maybe a little longer than intended, but you liked it, right? You're gonna miss me when Kristin leaves me in London with no computer, aren't you? Sorry, you know, it's just really hard to tell without technology. Hee.

XOXO
H