Coffee Break

Just a little break in the blogging for my trip to NYC to see Ali and the twins. I had coffee today at the coffee shop pictured above. Can't tell you how much I needed it - so cold here! It was a beautiful day though, clear and lively, and I'm so glad I'm getting to see pregnant Ali.

We Interrupt This Blog to Bring You....

SURPRISE!!!

Dear Barb,

Hey, are you there?? I hope I haven't missed you. I've been debating how exactly we were going to surprise you, the Pamfas and me. I had visions of a lovely box arriving on your doorstep, surprise!! Virtual baby shower!!! But then... well, I went to pick up the contents of said box and realized that, um, we were gonna need to make sure you had someone around to pick it up for you.

We are so excited for you. I think you know this already. I'm especially excited that this little man gets to have you as a mom. I know you'll be great. We wanted to do something to celebrate with you, so each of the Pamfas picked a favorite book especially for your baby boy. Once you get home and are ready to receive it, just let me know and they'll make their way, all wrapped and pretty, to you, your rocking chair and your brand new baby son.

XOXO
H

P.S. Ali, please tell the twins I'll be there tomorrow night late-ish, so they should kick you awake until I get there. 'kay? I can't wait!

Walk Photo of the Day

It's in my nature to look for daylight for my blog photos. True, there are the food photos, which are nearly always blurry, taken by fiddling with the settings so that I can get more light in what is usually a dark restaurant or cozy dinner table at someone's home. But there is something very different about indoor darkness.

The truth is, it's pretty dark around here right now. Yesterday I realized that it didn't make sense to hold up the blog posting while I wait for it to get light again. Might as well take those pictures in the dark that I'm mired in right now and just see how they turn out. I'm trying to approach the writing the same way too, just play a little, go for the shiny objects, make it simple, a few shapes, moved around like those tangram toys that were never really all that fun when you were a kid. I can appreciate the simplicity of something like a tangram a lot more now.

So, there you go. That's why the photo above is the walk photo of the day. It's the walk home, since the walk to work is still light, though just barely. This was the week when I started to catch the sunrise as I walked out my door. Before now, there hasn't been a trace of pink in the sky when I started. I was taking it easy on myself this week, so I was even starting a little later than usual. The internet tells me that sunrise is actually happening at 7:47am and will head progressively closer to 7:57am, a minute later eevery few days until January 7th, when it'll all turn again. Until then, let's try to enjoy the dark together, at least a little, okay?

Things I Like to Take Pictures Of (part three)

The driftwood structures people build on the beach.
They make me think of being in love. I don't know why.
But I still like the thought, even when it is painfully cold outside.

Still Doesn't Explain What's Up With MY Hair!

Mo at the studio

I went back to my writing space yesterday. I might as well admit it, I've only been there a handful of times since starting my job. The writing has picked up a bit since the Tomales Bay week, but if you've been reading here regularly for a while, you've probably noticed that the blog has been a little bare. When the blog is bare, it often means there isn't much writing happening at all.

There are some benefits to not writing now, it turns out. Since I haven't spent much time at the studio recently, the smell, the sound the plywood floors make, the view out the window, all of those things brought summer back to me and that made being there surprisingly delicious. And seeing how little I'm writing now has made me realize that the time off was more productive than I realized. I was so busy being afraid that I wasn't being productive enough that I didn't see how truly unproductive I can be.

Still. I'm doing things a little differently these days, because I don't think I want to be as unproductive as all that. So, I've been home almost every night this week, and last night I was asleep before ten - that's almost unheard of for me, right? I'm making room for things, reorganizing, turning string into things. I'm liking the string things, the string things are good. We'll just see about the writing.

Fabulous Jacket... Part Deux*

Mmmmm... babies like chocolate....
I am growing the double chins for their love of chocolate!

So, my replacement jacket from Isabella Oliver came today and I heart it! The silhouette is similar to the butterfly sweater - which I loved so much... Perhaps too much, since it unraveled under the strain of my love and had to be sent back...

This jacket is woven, not knit, so I worry less about it's frailty. Now I just have to successfully integrate it into my wardrobe... which led to the purchase of a pair of twill Seven for All Mankind maternity pants... which seemed very indulgent until I realized that a) they were on sale and I got them for $75 and b) I have twelve more weeks of pregnancy and the only pants that fit me are yoga pants.

Pants, I have discovered, are not a good thing to go cheap on...

And yoga pants just simply will not do for the shopping expeditions that are planned around your visit!

Also, I have been told that my body will not simply snap back to it's pre-pregnancy glory like magic.... Can you believe that nonsense??? So - theoretically - I may need these pants for my maternity leave as well. Very practical of me, I think.

And, of course, I think that the Isabella Oliver jacket is just the thing for the breast feeding mommy on the go, don't you?

I'm so glad that we have me all prepared for the babies arrival, aren't you? Now I can't wait for your arrival so that, um, I can actually get something together for them!

* In case you are wondering what is up with my hair... the bangs have grown out a bit and it is quite windy here, so they have had to be restrained. Also, I have discovered that I get pulled together quicker in the morning if I put my hair in hot rollers rather than blowing it straight.

Plus the big hair makes the ginormous belly look smaller, don't you think?

The Week of Evil Twins

First, I have to apologize to your twins, Ali, and please let them know that this post in no way refers to them. Really. But I gotta tell you about some stuff that's been going on here lately.

I think it started on Thursday, the day that Andy and Bobby both wore Penguin shirts. See? It was like they were evil twins. A being the evil twin of B. That was the same day that I got off the elevator at work and found Sara's cube empty, under construction, and the floor dark. Then I went to open the door to my office and found it... empty!

Of course, the problem was that I was on the 7th floor, which is the evil twin of the 9th floor, where my office was waiting for me, with my nice Matisse poster and photos on my bulletin board, and happy brown cup. Sara was there too, at her desk, which was not at all under construction.

There were other evil things happening, mostly in my head. The blood vessels in my head were the evil twins of themselves, doing whatever evil thing they do that makes the migraines. That happened on and off all weekend, with me trying to do things in between pain waves, things like Write-O-Rama at Hugo House, which was great, and Kathy's wedding, also great, and other things like turning my apartment into a baby sock factory. There was also sleeping and whining, and other people feeding me, which was the nicest part of the suffering. Even though the appetite is never so good with the headaches.

And it snowed! Here it is.

But now the snow has turned back into rain, which is the evil twin of snow. It's pretty evil, right now, I have to say. I don't mind the drizzle, I don't mind the gloom. But we have now reached, as you may have seen on the news, flood stage, and that is not conducive to the walking to work. Which is what I, being a newly minted walk addict, am craving. Because driving to work is walking's evil twin.

My New YouTube Crush

Oh, kiss the sweet baby! It's somethin' for the ladies!

I really didn't plan on continuing with a theme, but then I saw this video and it just made me squee and go all mushy inside.

I will be buying Eugene one of these wraps for Christmas, methinks.

Or is that too perverse and self serving?

A Tiny Ketchup For You

Just because. I like you so much.

I Wasn't Going To Tell!!

But it is so cute and wee, I cannot keep my secret any longer!
Look what I made!

My New TV Crush*

We are just ships passing in the night and I may never see him again but, for the moment, Gable Painter is my new TV crush.

He's not a glamorous star, a man of adventure or mystery. I can't even show you his picture because I couldn't find one on the internets. Any where. But I can show you his work.

He has a company called BP Restoration in Richmond, Virginia. They have no website! Don't you love that? Basically, he - and his work - were the subject of a one-hour one-off program called "Flip it Back" where he took a dilapitated crackhouse and restored it to it's folk victorian glory.

From this

To this

You know that I love a capable man! And watching the show I was so impressed by his workmanship, his dedication, and his sense of humor. He had all of the corbels re-made to match the originals! He had all of the turned posts for the porch, with their bric-a-brac remade in Canada! He replaced the doors with period doors throughout! He used real wood siding!

And if I could find a picture of him you could see how very cute he is too.

They may never make another episode and I may never see him again, but I applaud his skill.

And his hotness.

*This is what becomes of you when you come home from work every day to retire your considerable hugeness to the couch. You become very discerning regarding your reality shows. There may also be some nesting/pregnancy hormones involved in this post...

Things (part three)

Hugo House graffiti - Hey! Check out Write-O-Rama this Saturday at the House, all day!

With the hounds in Creede, CO

Beach with kite, Ocean Shores, WA

Taylor in Sonoma, CA

At Pete's and Regan's rehearsal dinner, Whidbey Island, WA

Things I Like to Take Pictures Of (part two)

All those foot photos yesterday made me realize how often my toenails are painted red. Not right now, though. It's winter, and they are in handknit socks, healing from some harsh treatment they received over the summer. Those white plastic Marc Jacobs flats are all fun and games until someone spends three hours walking through the galleries of Chelsea. In retrospect, a taxi home would have been a good idea.

A taxi would have been a good idea on Monday night too. Or the bus even. But we've talked about this before, how if I get it in my head that I'm going to have my walk, it's pretty hard to deter me. That was Monday night.

That was the night it got dark before I left work, like it does these days, and then poured rain on me all the way from work to home. It was all very dramatic, with one of my hands (the one holding the phone) going numb from the cold, and my new black wool pants getting soaked to the knee, and the monorail looming and traffic lifting the dirty water from the gutters onto the sidewalks. Okay, I know the black wool pants are not that dramatic, but that does bring me to my next point.

Another thing I realized yesterday? I am no Tolstoy. No Virginia Woolf. Okay. I didn't actually realize that yesterday, I was just thinking about it more. It was the walk, which reminded me of those scenes Virginia does so well, where all the drama takes place in the mind of a character, just walking, running errands, contemplating a hat. I think of Tolstoy this way too, as being a master of the transformative small moment, though of course there's the whole War thing, that's pretty dramatic, I guess. Ha. Am I cracking you up yet?

I'm thinking about it though, thinking about the Tolstoy, the Woolf, what is underneath the veneer of "Fine." as an answer to the question about how your day was. I still don't feel like I have a way to talk about that walk home, how it was to be in the rain and cold after four bright days, how it felt melancholy and miserable and cranky and deep-down happy all at the same time.

I thought about how I might write that, not as a sentence with a bunch of adjectives, but as a long walk, with the short guy walking next to me, who said "I should be able to walk faster than you, I have longer legs", or the woman in the big white Escalade who made me cranky by pulling so far into the intersection that she blocked the crosswalk, and how when the walk signal went, she looked in her rearview mirror to try to pull back out of the intersection. There was no way, so instead, she rolled down her window, blinking hard against the rain and called to me "I'm sorry! I went too far!" I had just been thinking how dumb she and her Escalade were, especially after that last intersection, where for some incomprehensible reason, people were stopping at the red light, waiting a moment, and then just pulling right through. Somehow those other people made her seem even worse, until she apologized, and I found myself shrugging and just... not cranky anymore.


And P.S.? When I woke up this morning, my boots were still wet. I wore them anyway. I had to! They're the best for walking. And I wanted a walk. I had things to think about.

Things I Like to Take Pictures Of (part one)

My feet.In the sand, Dillon Beach, CA

In the woods, Ali's place, VT

In the hood, Capitol Hill, Seattle, WA

In the clogs, Ocean Shores, WA

In hot water, Lava Hot Springs, ID

In the fancy seats (sunburned), Willie's 4th of July, The Gorge, WA

In the Key, Seattle, WA

In the grass at Tami's, Sonoma CA

In the snow, Creede, CO

Some of the Many Things I Am Thankful For This Year

Baby B

Baby A

My little turkeys

I suppose this comes under the better-late-than-never-category, but I am so very very lucky this year and I thought you should know that I know it! In particular, the things I am thankful for are...

• My little niblets, who are 24 weeks and 2 days today! 24 weeks, being considered a major milestone for viability. They are also kicking up a storm - to the point where I can see my belly poking out in the spot where they are kicking.
  

• That you are coming to help me sort out all of this baby stuff that needs sorting out! I am so excited for you to see my crazy baby bump in person and to get your help figuring out what colors and whatnot I should be shopping for. I just can't wrap the few braincells I seem to have left around it.

• Our new apartment (fingers crossed). The idea of living someplace with so much space (comparatively speaking) is crazy!
  

• That Stephanie (Ernie's daughter) cooked Thanksgiving dinner - and gave us the leftovers! And that my husband was good enough to help with all the dishes.

• Which brings me to being thankful that Eugene is picking up a lot of the slack of doing stuff that I don't really have the energy or desire to do. And he's as excited and entranced by the babies as I am.
  

• And also to the fact that I am very grateful for Tums. God bless whoever developed Tums.

Mostly, I am grateful that we are all so very lucky - in our circumstances, in our health, in all of the ways that people can be lucky I think that we've got it pretty well sewn up. When I say 'we' I mean you and me and Mom and Dad and our friends and loved ones.

I feel thankful for these things every day, but this is probably the best day to express that.

Thanks

Can you see how delicious the dinner above was? It was made by one of Andy's dads, and it was not only elegant but extremely tasty. There was a starter too, and homemade pie for dessert and lovely wine with each course. When I was in the Bay area for my writing workshop, I had about 15 minutes free, at the exact moment when Andy and Bobby were in the city visiting the dads. The boys had been drinking all day and were um, very cheerful when I picked them up. I thought we were just going to grab a quick cocktail or something, but they kidnapped me and took me to dinner, where I was surprised with this feast.

I loved it all, of course, the mischevious boys, the delicious food, and of course getting a little more insight into where Andy is coming from. It was the most fun kind of family dinner, from a very untraditional family. I felt most thankful to be invited.

I hope you all have a great family dinner of one kind or another for this holiday, with whatever traditions you like best. I won't even go into the whole historical thing, but I will say that I feel pretty sure that it is always always good to be thankful.

And I think you know by now, that I am mostly definitely that.

Under My Umbrella

Walk photo of the day.

Saturday in the city*

I know HK looks all casual in this photo, but her heart is actually about to explode with sqee-ing delight over how adorable Ada looks in her crazy knit onesie.

That's HK and Ada, sitting in the dining/living area of their awesome Washington Heights apartment. You should check out HK's Ada Today blog. I think it's cute as all get out.

They are taking pity on me today, because Eugene had to go out to Long Island to close up his Mom's Hampton's house for the winter. Hopefully, he'll be back tonight but - in the meantime - I wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to check out some strollers and car seats and HK is willing to come along and use Ada to test drive them.

Actually, HK is being extra sweet and is picking me up in her Prius so that I don't have to haul my rather large belly all over the subway system to get to Buy Buy Baby - where apparently all of the strollers in creation reside.

I would like to resist the call of the Big Box Store - and I find their 3-d animated baby logo super creepy - but I need to see twin strollers and there just aren't that many places that keep a wide variety on hand. I need to be able to actually handle them - because for the most part they are huge and unwieldy so I am trying to find the exception to the rule.

And it also needs to fit in our new elevator - which is not huge.

I am saving all of the boutique-ie decor and fun baby shopping for your visit though! We can hold little layettes up to my belly! We can find non-sex-specific bedding with cute animals or something on it. I saw that Christina Agulera (sp?) got some Petunia Pickle Bottom stuff which is unbelievably adorable... but also $$$$.

We shall aspire to that level of cuteness... but on a more economical scale.

And I am sorry if I have defiled our blog by posting something about Christina Agulera her. Mea culpa. But Nicole Richie hasn't publicized what sort of bedding she is getting. I take what I can get.

In case you are wondering how big the bump is these days, here you go!

32 Weeks on a normal person = 23 weeks on me!

I just realized that, in this photo my ta-tas look kind of ginormous, but they are pretty much the same size as before. I think the huge belly is propping them up.

* Hoping I don't get sued for using this title - apparently anything ending in 'in the city' is trademarked by the Sex in the City people - because, you know, New York was NOTHING before they made Sex and the City. NOTHING!

This is our new building - we hope...

Eugene scratching his head, thinking about how long his new commute will be

Well, the weather is definitely getting wintery. I pulled out my Burberry trench this morning, belted it over the bump (empire-waisted Burberry! Tres chic!) and marveled that I probably only have a couple of weeks left to wear it. Usually I would wrap and tie it like a bathrobe. Not so much now. We are straining at the buttons now.

Luckily, I have my crazy monkey-fur coat (no real monkeys were harmed in the making of it... only a bunch of polyesters) and that vintage houndstooth coat to hopefully see me through until February. I'll be like Cruella de Ville with a baby bump.

Otherwise the twins will freeze!

Just kidding.

Any hoo... we turned in the monstrous pile of paper known as our co-op application today... signed, notarized and footnoted to the horizon. I was very excited to get it completed because, quite frankly, it was more complicated than my college applications and only slightly less so than our taxes - and that's why I have an accountant to do the taxes.

There should be a person to complete co-op applications too! Actually, there probably is but I didn't think to look into it until just this very moment.

Hmmm.

It's very exciting to think about moving to a new neighborhood. To a new apartment. With doors that close.

And bizarre to think that, if everything works out, shortly after we move we will have TWO BABIES! OF OUR OWN! FOREVER!

Whoa.

We will also have loads more space, lots of windows, a dishwasher and washer and dryer, an elevator and a big park right next door. Which are all really really good things. Especially if you have TWO BABIES! FOREVER! ALL YOURS!

The babies thing is actually starting to sink in a bit more.

Could you tell?

It's Gone All to Rain Here

... and still I'm walking to work most days. Monday was the first bad time, when I arrived at work all cold and soaked, bedraggled, bits of wet leaf stuck to my stockings. I drank hot things all day but never warmed up all the way through. Still, the days I drive, everything just seems to happen too fast, and I wish for the walk home, and then home. Home is changing these days. There are clean towels and you could sit at the table in the kitchen and eat dinner if you wanted to. You could even open the fridge and make dinner, just from what's there already. I've made myself tea two nights in a row and yesterday I burned a candle and I think the bills are all paid.

The walks home have done some of this. I'm so happy to get here at the end of the day. I'm ready to come home and stay here, and that's a change for me. Things are getting to be a little more habitual, and while there are many things I miss about my time off, this is really what I was hoping the return to work would mean. A settling down, digging in kind of thing. Now that it's here, it feels really really good.