Things I Like to Take Pictures Of (part one)

My feet.In the sand, Dillon Beach, CA

In the woods, Ali's place, VT

In the hood, Capitol Hill, Seattle, WA

In the clogs, Ocean Shores, WA

In hot water, Lava Hot Springs, ID

In the fancy seats (sunburned), Willie's 4th of July, The Gorge, WA

In the Key, Seattle, WA

In the grass at Tami's, Sonoma CA

In the snow, Creede, CO

Some of the Many Things I Am Thankful For This Year

Baby B

Baby A

My little turkeys

I suppose this comes under the better-late-than-never-category, but I am so very very lucky this year and I thought you should know that I know it! In particular, the things I am thankful for are...

• My little niblets, who are 24 weeks and 2 days today! 24 weeks, being considered a major milestone for viability. They are also kicking up a storm - to the point where I can see my belly poking out in the spot where they are kicking.
  

• That you are coming to help me sort out all of this baby stuff that needs sorting out! I am so excited for you to see my crazy baby bump in person and to get your help figuring out what colors and whatnot I should be shopping for. I just can't wrap the few braincells I seem to have left around it.

• Our new apartment (fingers crossed). The idea of living someplace with so much space (comparatively speaking) is crazy!
  

• That Stephanie (Ernie's daughter) cooked Thanksgiving dinner - and gave us the leftovers! And that my husband was good enough to help with all the dishes.

• Which brings me to being thankful that Eugene is picking up a lot of the slack of doing stuff that I don't really have the energy or desire to do. And he's as excited and entranced by the babies as I am.
  

• And also to the fact that I am very grateful for Tums. God bless whoever developed Tums.

Mostly, I am grateful that we are all so very lucky - in our circumstances, in our health, in all of the ways that people can be lucky I think that we've got it pretty well sewn up. When I say 'we' I mean you and me and Mom and Dad and our friends and loved ones.

I feel thankful for these things every day, but this is probably the best day to express that.

Thanks

Can you see how delicious the dinner above was? It was made by one of Andy's dads, and it was not only elegant but extremely tasty. There was a starter too, and homemade pie for dessert and lovely wine with each course. When I was in the Bay area for my writing workshop, I had about 15 minutes free, at the exact moment when Andy and Bobby were in the city visiting the dads. The boys had been drinking all day and were um, very cheerful when I picked them up. I thought we were just going to grab a quick cocktail or something, but they kidnapped me and took me to dinner, where I was surprised with this feast.

I loved it all, of course, the mischevious boys, the delicious food, and of course getting a little more insight into where Andy is coming from. It was the most fun kind of family dinner, from a very untraditional family. I felt most thankful to be invited.

I hope you all have a great family dinner of one kind or another for this holiday, with whatever traditions you like best. I won't even go into the whole historical thing, but I will say that I feel pretty sure that it is always always good to be thankful.

And I think you know by now, that I am mostly definitely that.

Under My Umbrella

Walk photo of the day.

Saturday in the city*

I know HK looks all casual in this photo, but her heart is actually about to explode with sqee-ing delight over how adorable Ada looks in her crazy knit onesie.

That's HK and Ada, sitting in the dining/living area of their awesome Washington Heights apartment. You should check out HK's Ada Today blog. I think it's cute as all get out.

They are taking pity on me today, because Eugene had to go out to Long Island to close up his Mom's Hampton's house for the winter. Hopefully, he'll be back tonight but - in the meantime - I wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to check out some strollers and car seats and HK is willing to come along and use Ada to test drive them.

Actually, HK is being extra sweet and is picking me up in her Prius so that I don't have to haul my rather large belly all over the subway system to get to Buy Buy Baby - where apparently all of the strollers in creation reside.

I would like to resist the call of the Big Box Store - and I find their 3-d animated baby logo super creepy - but I need to see twin strollers and there just aren't that many places that keep a wide variety on hand. I need to be able to actually handle them - because for the most part they are huge and unwieldy so I am trying to find the exception to the rule.

And it also needs to fit in our new elevator - which is not huge.

I am saving all of the boutique-ie decor and fun baby shopping for your visit though! We can hold little layettes up to my belly! We can find non-sex-specific bedding with cute animals or something on it. I saw that Christina Agulera (sp?) got some Petunia Pickle Bottom stuff which is unbelievably adorable... but also $$$$.

We shall aspire to that level of cuteness... but on a more economical scale.

And I am sorry if I have defiled our blog by posting something about Christina Agulera her. Mea culpa. But Nicole Richie hasn't publicized what sort of bedding she is getting. I take what I can get.

In case you are wondering how big the bump is these days, here you go!

32 Weeks on a normal person = 23 weeks on me!

I just realized that, in this photo my ta-tas look kind of ginormous, but they are pretty much the same size as before. I think the huge belly is propping them up.

* Hoping I don't get sued for using this title - apparently anything ending in 'in the city' is trademarked by the Sex in the City people - because, you know, New York was NOTHING before they made Sex and the City. NOTHING!

This is our new building - we hope...

Eugene scratching his head, thinking about how long his new commute will be

Well, the weather is definitely getting wintery. I pulled out my Burberry trench this morning, belted it over the bump (empire-waisted Burberry! Tres chic!) and marveled that I probably only have a couple of weeks left to wear it. Usually I would wrap and tie it like a bathrobe. Not so much now. We are straining at the buttons now.

Luckily, I have my crazy monkey-fur coat (no real monkeys were harmed in the making of it... only a bunch of polyesters) and that vintage houndstooth coat to hopefully see me through until February. I'll be like Cruella de Ville with a baby bump.

Otherwise the twins will freeze!

Just kidding.

Any hoo... we turned in the monstrous pile of paper known as our co-op application today... signed, notarized and footnoted to the horizon. I was very excited to get it completed because, quite frankly, it was more complicated than my college applications and only slightly less so than our taxes - and that's why I have an accountant to do the taxes.

There should be a person to complete co-op applications too! Actually, there probably is but I didn't think to look into it until just this very moment.

Hmmm.

It's very exciting to think about moving to a new neighborhood. To a new apartment. With doors that close.

And bizarre to think that, if everything works out, shortly after we move we will have TWO BABIES! OF OUR OWN! FOREVER!

Whoa.

We will also have loads more space, lots of windows, a dishwasher and washer and dryer, an elevator and a big park right next door. Which are all really really good things. Especially if you have TWO BABIES! FOREVER! ALL YOURS!

The babies thing is actually starting to sink in a bit more.

Could you tell?

It's Gone All to Rain Here

... and still I'm walking to work most days. Monday was the first bad time, when I arrived at work all cold and soaked, bedraggled, bits of wet leaf stuck to my stockings. I drank hot things all day but never warmed up all the way through. Still, the days I drive, everything just seems to happen too fast, and I wish for the walk home, and then home. Home is changing these days. There are clean towels and you could sit at the table in the kitchen and eat dinner if you wanted to. You could even open the fridge and make dinner, just from what's there already. I've made myself tea two nights in a row and yesterday I burned a candle and I think the bills are all paid.

The walks home have done some of this. I'm so happy to get here at the end of the day. I'm ready to come home and stay here, and that's a change for me. Things are getting to be a little more habitual, and while there are many things I miss about my time off, this is really what I was hoping the return to work would mean. A settling down, digging in kind of thing. Now that it's here, it feels really really good.

Like REI, Only with... Ummm... Dead Animals

Look! It's a fake mountain of taxidermied animals in the background! Good times...

Oh I've been a bad blogger, a very bad blogger. There's a special place in h-e-double hockey sticks for bad bloggers like me.

But I know you won't send me there. I know that you know that I have a grillion stupid little reasons for not being a better blogger... and I will only bore everyone with the top five:

1. I am ginormous (measuring 32 weeks today!) and get exhausted easily and only have three brain cells - one for me and one for each of the babies... that's my pregnancy excuse.
2. I've been negotiating us into a contract to buy this apartment and then I had to spend many evenings collecting the 150 pages of financial documentation and fill out the 30+ page co-op application... that's my apartment #1 excuse.
3. I've also been spending a significant amount of time, and mental energy (which I obviously don't have!) negotiating a buyout for our current apartment. I'm a graphic designer. We don't do financial negotiations. This has been like one of the levels of h-e-double hockey sticks for me already - perhaps punishment for the non-blogging? That's my apartment #2 excuse.
   
4. I can't post from work because of our firewall... so frequently, when I actually have an idea, it evaporates before I can actually make it to a computer. That's my work excuse.
5. I'm distracted by all the kicking going on in my abdomen right now. It's like Homer on The Simpsons: shiny! Shiny! Hmmm... I guess that's pregnancy excuse #2. Whoops.

Any hoo, aside from my excuses there's not much going on except my daily exponential growth, I mean I actually measure ten weeks larger than I am.

But you will note, as proven by the photo above, that I am still trying to keep things cute around here - even when attending the grand opening of a Cabelas hunting fishing and outfitting store.

I am wearing my very cute sweater from Isabella Oliver, which my wonderful sister got me - oh! That's you! And I have received many compliments on it!

It was a momentous day - and not just because of the sweater. Euge got to feel the babies kicking for the first time!

In Cabelas.

Which worries me a bit.

We also went to Cracker Barrel for brunch and I got blueberry pancakes, because that was what the kicking twins wanted. Needless to say, the entire morning to afternoon was an experience in observing just how very large and varied the asses of the great American public are.

Except mine, of course. But only because it was concealed by the sweater.

For the statistical pregnancy update... I am 22 weeks 4 days, but I do indeed measure 32 weeks. I have gained 29 pound, but my pants still fit so I am convinced that it's not in my ass and I refuse to hear otherwise. The babies each weigh about a pound now and are about ten inches long. They are both head down We still don't know the sex and won't if we can help it. Isn't it fun this not knowing?

We haven't yet purchased a single baby item yet, which is starting to seem perverse. I considered buying something at Cabelas, but they didn't have any infant items so, sadly, I could not. Boohoo - really.

And here is a final item for your amusement:



Euge is convinced that this is what's going on when the twins are kicking.

I Don't Always Know What I'm Doing Here

... and sometimes that's the best way to start a blog post. Mostly because those times, it's really the only way. Ordinarily, I have a general sense of what I'm going to write about, often I've even worked out some words, during a walk, or a long drive, so I know what the whole piece is going to rotate around. Other times, like tonight, I think, well damn, I liked that last post but that was two days ago, and let's at least give folks something new to look at, right? So we take a little tour through iphoto and there's a shot that isn't too attached to anything, not too loaded with meaning, or requiring explanation, really it's just a pile of leaves, a chain link fence, could be any of these fall days, so off we go into whatever blog post will coagulate in the little window where we write these.

I was just a little off all weekend, that's the truth. Strange things happened, like the power being off at Kingfish when we went for my birthday dinner. We ate fried chicken, mashed potatoes and greens by candlelight, and we were ready to move on to a giant slice of chocolate cake when the lights went on and everyone cheered. After all that time in the dark, having the dim lights on was the thing that seemed off.

There were other off things this weekend too, like how I didn't watch a second of football, and how I actually bought an ironing board. Furthermore, I bought things to clean my kitchen floor with. And in addition, I did laundry (though I have yet to fold one of the two loads) and there was a meal cooked in my kitchen tonight, after which all the dishes except the dessert plate were cleaned. My apartment was nice and cozy tonight, with Julie London playing and white Christmas lights on over the dinner table. It made me think of visitors and comfort and being happy to be home.

So, yeah, all a little off. Like how that chain-link fence looked surprisingly beautiful to me when I decided to photograph it. Off, but only in the nicest way.

Hope you had a good weekend!

XOXO
H

Oh, AND! I think I rule because I got to level 47 on Free Rice. FORTY-SEVEN!!! I know some words, yo! As you would say, Ali.

We Were All A Little Blurry

The Man. The Cheap Wine and Poetry Man.

But what did you expect from a night of cheap wine and poetry? It wasn't the wine for me, though, it was definitely the poetry, the crowd, and probably that chocolate cake I ate instead of dinner. And while we are on the subject of chocolate cake, I wanna let you in on a little insider tip. Something they don't tell you about Hugo House when you come in the door with your little notebook and paper, or your copy of White Noise for that mind-bending Don DeLillo class you are taking (oh, sorry, you wish you were taking). Ready? Here it is: If you should find yourself at Hugo House, and someone sets food in front of you, and at that same time, Brian's girlfriend is somewhere on the vicinity, maybe scooting upstairs mysteriously from time to time? Well, you need to eat that food. She made that food, and knowing that, you know that you should eat it. Now I've told you, now you know.

Last night that food was chocolate cake. And while the chocolate cake itself was pretty and all, a big round birthday-looking (Happy Birthday Brian!) chocolate thing, a classic cake shape, not that big square Safeway baloney you get from co-workers who don't really like you all that much, even though this cake was not that cake, it still did not get eaten with the fervor which I believe it deserved. It's not your fault, you just didn't know. But I have to tell you, that was some goooood cake! I still don't believe her that it was vegan. That's crazy talk.

Mmmmmh! Dayum, that cake was gooood!

What did get eaten, voraciously, with loud mouth-noises and even some snorting, was the poetry. The crowd was big, and the crowd was thirsty and the thirsty ones drank and this only made them more hungry. Thank god, or in this case, Brian, there was both cake and of course, poetry. When we left, we were full.

What I filled up other than cake, and other than the pleasure of sitting next to Kate's man Jason, the kind of man who puts his arm around you and says "Where you been?" like he's gonna' beat up whoever has taken you away, but in a nice way, like the most friendly ass-whupping ever, maybe like he's just gonna open a can of Maldives songs whup-ass on someone, you know, just sing or even headbang them into whuppedness, the kind of man who you hope your boyfriend will understand, who will understand your boyfriend, if you ever happen to have one, because he is the I'm-looking-out-for-you-advice-giving type if there ever was one, but where was I? Right... what I filled up on other than the pleasure of sitting next to him, was poetry.

Prose too, I guess, since Ryan Boudinot delighted me with "An Essay and A Short Story About Motley Crue". I never knew about that time Motley Crue's tour bus broke down in Conway Washington, or about the burrito thing either, though maybe I didn't need to know that. Anyway, I'm glad I know now, because I am going to get that au jus recipe from Vince Neil myself, when I finally meet him.

And you know I can't end this without a word about Brian. I love that guy, and the truth is I love listening to him even when he's telling me to stuff envelopes. In fact, sometimes I get in trouble for how much I love how he sounds. Every once in a while, he'll say something I like, and I'll find myself, without thinking about it, repeating it, kinda chewing it over, only with my mouth open, which is not so polite because it means that Brian can see that I am swallowing all the R's when I chew, just like he does. "Are you makin funna me?" he says. But of course I'm not, I just love the taste of those words.

When he reads poetry, it's even better. I heard a laugh sound come out of Kate's mouth that I swear I've never heard her make before. That whole birthday weekend, I never heard that sound. And the crowd started out all hungry and rowdy at the beginning but by the end they were buzzing and satiated. My favorite? The one called "The First Pair of Panties I Seen In a While." It was about buying a house. For real!

Hell yes I ate some cake!

What You Might Want To Do Tomorrow

Every morning I have a little debate with myself. The walk to work is long enough to make eeven a light bag seem heavy, so I look in the purse and I ask myself what can be removed to make things a little easier that day. The umbrella always makes the cut on days when it isn't actually raining. When it is raining, the little umbrella is removed from the bag and one of the big umbrellas is carried. There are several, one black with colored rings on it, one clear. The small umbrella that fits in the bag in fair weather is also black, but with the blue sky lining of the NY MoMA umbrellas. Because it came, of course, from NY MoMA, an excellent place to get an umbrella. With all this walking, I will no doubt be buying more umbrellas. I am like that, you know.

But the item that is the subject of the most debate (me vs. me) is the camera. I walk the same way every day, and I will walk that way every day for a long time to come, so I think "Well, there probably isn't anything new to take a picture of, and if there is, I can always take it next time," but of course you know how this goes, every time I leave the camera home, I regret it.

I took it this morning, and maybe that's why these poetry stones jumped out at me. I'm not sure how long they've been there, though from the looks of the plantings around them, not long. I love them. Just the fact of them, not necessarily the poems themselves, but that they are there, big pieces of rock with lots of poem fragments on them. There's a whole little cluster of them.

And they are appropriate for today, since I'm thinking about poetry, and tomorrow is the long-awaited Cheap Wine and Poetry night, 7:00 at Richard Hugo House. Come join us! I'm looking forward to seeing Brian read, and being at the House for the second night this week. That's how it's going these days, two nights a week at Hugo House. Just don't ask me how the actual writing is going. I think this is my time to read.

Another Very Happy Birthday

I went to Pt Townsend for the weekend for my birthday. It was so gorgeously fall, bright and cold, a trip with a ferry ride the first night, the sleepover ferry, lets call it, because of all the kids in their pajamas trying to get the hot chocolate machine to work. It worked for me too, and I felt all of that good continuity I always feel during my best times in the PNW, like over the course of my life I might have a day on that ferry with every human I love. The twins will have pajamas with feet and grubby fingers on the window. The ferry ride back in the sunshine was just as good.

And then there was Fort Worden, which I love, partly because it lets me imagine that there is no military left, that it's just something we remember, like heroes. I love the big old buildings being used for knitting retreats and poetry presses, the officer's quarters being rented out to groups of families who will let their kids stay up late with sparkling cider to shout Happy New year in the snow on the big lawn where you can fly a kite on a windy day.

I walked until my camera batteries died, and then I kicked the leaves and listened to Wilco singing Say You Miss Me, and Son Volt's Windfall. I saw a green Schwinn with a basket and a little kid who made the helmet she was wearing look like a bucket somehow, opening and closing the gate to the tennis courts, tottering in that butt padding and working her little fingers like she had just figured out they were there. Someone's little white dog really wanted to meet me and I wondered which of the houses was the one where I got busted for making out with one of the ASB officers in 11th grade.

And then I went back to the little cabin and was overwhelmed with all your well-wishes, text messages and phone calls and emails. I don't know that there has been a day in my life when I felt more loved. I've said it before, but it's worth repeating. I am such a lucky girl.

The Walk to Work, Through the Center of Seattle

Cold and beautiful these days. I love the foggy needle, and the abandoned carnival rides. I wonder which ones we were on as kids. They won't be there much longer, but I promise I'll ride the ones I like a time or two before they go.

Have a good weekend!

I'm Here, Where Are You?

Turns out it only takes ten and a half hours to drive home to Seattle from Pam's house in Davis. Good thing too, since I didn't hit the road until 1:30 this afternoon. I couldn't tear myself away without one more breakfast at Cindy's Diner. The first morning in Davis, Pam, Marc and I all went there for breakfast and I felt like I was on a road trip with mom and dad circa 1979. Cindy's has those round swivel chairs that are actually attached to a counter, and of course the naugahyde booths and a counter with a glass case where they have candy bars and gum, in case you want to buy one on your way out as you pay the bill. The great thing is that the food there is actually good and the juice is fresh-squeezed. This morning I had a small grapefruit juice and the skillet #3 (two eggs over easy with cheese, potatoes, green onions, avocado and bacon with flour tortillas) plus green chiles. I highly recommend starting a road trip this way, if you ever find your road trip starting in Davis, California.

California treated me so well this time around. There was a lot of what you see in the photo above - lazing around in the grass, soaking up sunshine. We kept referring to the conference as Summer Camp and that really was what it felt like, what with our stash of snacks in our three-girl cabin, all the meals in the dining hall and various other things. I came home with the writers conference equivalent of a yearbook - a stack of novels signed by some great authors and generally charming human beings, including Pete Fromm, Jack Driscoll and Howard Norman. Heather McHugh left too early for me to catch her, but she was just outrageously smart and I found myself feeling a little smug for having read her way back in 1987. I have one Jodi Reed to thank for that.

Hope things are going well in New York, Allison. You know you better cough up some Halloween photos. I think Ginger McDonald is going to be making an appearance in Seattle again this year, if only I can find where I put those pills...

Sometimes There's Only TIme For a Few Photos

Driving to Calistoga for dinner with Tami

Tami works her magic so that I can eat Rice Crispy Treats for breakfast for the next few days

Glee.

Taylor and I spent quality time on the grass, gazing deep into each other's eyes

This afternoon, Pam and I are heading up the coast for the Tomales Bay Workshops, where everything will be very very photogenic! More updates here and on Flickr soon.

Hello From the Crush

Tami fends off the paparazzi

We're having a beautiful couple of days here in California, lots of sun, bushes full of pink roses in Tami's back yard and the air is filled with the unmistakable smell of grapes being crushed. I'm being a lazy slug and have not yet changed out of my pajamas. Instead, I'm sitting on Tami's big couch doing my reading for my Howard Norman workshop.

Tami and Dixon have been very good to, as Amber and Seth were in Portland on Friday night. I'm lucky to have friends with guest rooms who also know how to make things like egg bites for breakfast and the best meatloaf ever for dinner. Seriously, I love meat loaf. I am not the worst house guest either, since I come bearing knitted gifts.

Yesterday Tami and I went into the city (San Francisco, in case you forgot) and copied this. Tami wrote some great ones while we were sitting in the window of the most amazing chocolate shop, drinking spicy hot cocoa. After our cocoa, we wandered out into the sunshine and left a trail of happy little notes in the pockets of cute coats at all the boutiques we stopped in.

Of course we couldn't leave the fancy chocolate shop without fancy chocolates. This box is considerably emptier now. Don't you love the way the orange theme of the box matches Tami's sweater? We went for a green theme for Pam's box.

Now Tami's off at work and my new best friend Taylor is keeping me company. Check it out, Tami, she's giving us her cheerleader face!

Huh? A Turtle?

It was rainy here this morning, rainy enough that I discovered that my nice clear plastic umbrella isn't really big enough to keep my whole little self dry. I still love walking to work, but I have to admit that I'm pretty happy that the week is almost over. Love the new job, etc, but two whole weeks of work can be hard on a seasoned dilettante.

Luckily! Tomorrow afternoon I go back to being a dilettante. I'm taking off for the Bay Area where I will eat oysters, drink port, distribute knitted goods, and participate in the Tomales Bay Workshops again. Hope you have something good planned for the weekend!

Do I really look like a turtle?

You would offer this nice lady a seat on the subway, wouldn't you?

Sorry for the weird photo - but the self-timer on my camera at work is unfamiliar territory. Nonetheless, you can see that I now look like I've swallowed a watermelon. Or a koala - whichever works for you!

When we went to go see our doctor on Monday, she was concerned about my weight gain (6 pounds since our last visit!) and was quizzing me about my diet and was making those sounds that indicate 'we are going to have a serious talk at the end of this exam young lady!'

But then she did the ultrasound and - OOPS! - remembered that I am expecting twins.

So apparently it's fine if I turn into a total blimp.... and with (hopefully) at least four months left to go... I think I'm going to go have some ice cream!

We are 19 weeks tomorrow.

Something that will make ME happy when it is grey

Um, Kate Moss is totally biting my style with her bangs and all black outfit.

But no way can she replicate my belly, which is now apparently measuring the same as a 28 week pregnancy. I'm only 18 weeks.

Eeek!

A Public Service Announcement

It's been foggy in Seattle the last two days. Something that sounds like a foghorn keeps sounding off, and something that sounds like a ferry keeps answering back. That's how things are right now - me, feeling my way into some new kind of life, and the way it's all mysterious and hazy only makes it more gorgeous.

Still, this isn't the easiest time of the year. I'll admit, it is a bit of an adjustment for me to be at a desk for the better part of 40 hours a week. I get up and make myself a cup of tea more than I should, probably. Right now, I wake up to a sunset over the water, and when I walk home at night, it's still light, but I know the days are getting shorter, and Mack Strong is not coming back. The Pacific Northwest dark is hard on a lot of people I love, though mostly I seem to manage okay. I've been thinking a lot about why that is, exactly, what gets me through these days. So, just in case you find yourself in need of a little anti-depressant, try out one from my list of faves:

- walking to work
- Paris style macaron cookies from Whole Foods, three blocks from the new office
- Leonard Weaver aka The Bishop
- those days where everything seems to be the color of a pumpkin
- clear plastic umbrellas
- the Get Joey To Australia show, and the whole story behind it
- the new Rilo Kiley album
- getting a latte from Josie at Old Ballard Fiore on Sunday
- skee ball at Kings Hardware, with Evan if you can manage it
- that Maldives song where they do the clapping thing (check them out this Monday at the High Dive)
- ANTM (most effective when taken in a double dose, with Susan)
- the Hugo House Lit Series (check it out November 12th)
- something handknit by someone who loves you (email me if I owe you)
- text messaging
- fresh eggs from the Farmers Market
- music from Kozy Shack, good stuff like Gospel Aretha
- the arboretum
- rubber chickens
- Sunday night two-stepping at the Hen
- photo booth photos
- my License to Ill, made by Hx B
- emails from Dave with top 5 lists
- wondering what your sister is going to name her twins
- and of course, coffee from two of my favorite human anti-depressants, Bobby and Andy, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday mornings at Caffe Fiore on Queen Anne

Just one of the many amusing sights on my walk to work

Lookie!

I got a new haircut!

I was feeling a little bored and, since I have a limited number of months when I can selfishly take the time to blow dry my hair, I decided now was the time for a change!

And I have a new show that I love: Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane.

We should all find a bit of that fabulosity in ourselves.

I gots it in my bangs!

This Time Last Year

Roany and Deseo mow the front lawn

So, I think it's an odd coincidence that October 8th 2006 was my first day at the ranch, and October 8th 2007 was my first day at my new job. I like it, of course, there's a nice symmetry to it. Whenever I say that I've taken the last 8 months off, Elvis makes fun of me and tells me that it's really been the last year because those two weeks I went back to my old job don't count. Well, it was certainly longer than two weeks, but in a way he's right. Those two October 8ths are the bookends on a remarkable time in my life.

My first day at Children's was great. We spent the day in a basement filling out paperwork and eating hospital food. Sounds good, huh? But it was. I'm serious! That room was filled with good energy, and people who all seemed to be truly excited to be starting work there. One woman kept saying "This is my dream job!" and I knew how she felt.

I have a funny feeling today, a little relief, a little feeling of return, of something coming back to me. I missed this part of my self, my competent, composed, working self. I missed setting aside my personal life for eight hours a day in favor of something that I believed would be helpful to other humans somewhere in the world, even if I never met any of them. It just felt worthwhile. It still does.

Thanks to all of you who called or sent a text or wrote or made a comment wishing me well and checking in. I'm so lucky to have you all. I'll talk to you soon!

Goodbye To All That

Let's all light a candle for the old days

Well. It's a Sunday here, finally. After 8 months of no school nights, tonight is, at last, a school night. I was never good at Sundays. The morning part, sure. Anyone can do brunch. But after that, it gets a little squirrelly. I get a little squirrelly. I think I'm doing pretty well at the moment. I'm not precisely sure what I'm wearing tomorrow, but there's a pair of black wool pants hanging in the bathroom, and with a good pair of black wool pants, the rest of it can't be that hard. And I'm in bed, sort-of, and it's only 8:48. I am a little nervous about the sleeping too, that's another thing I'm not always so good at. Maybe a little reading in bed will help, right?

I had a couple of reality checks today, like the phone call I got from one of the guys in Paulie's band. He's in town playing a show with another one of his bands and left me a message saying that he was going to put me on the guest list, but guess what? Sunday night, midnight show? Not for me.

It's like I'm pregnant now, only without the babies.

Just kidding. Still, I imagine that I am weirded out right now in a way that is not completely unlike the way you must be weirded out, Allison. Do you have that feeling like you have all this stuff to do and now you don't have any time to do it in? Or like you are in the middle of one of those dreams where you are locked out of your house without your pants on, and maybe, like, forgot to pay all your library fines and now they are coming to take you to JAIL for those fines? Today Bobby asked me if I was nervous about tomorrow and I told him no, because I didn't really think I was. In a way, it was true. When I think about actually being at orientation, and then, later in the week, being in an office, MY new office, and doing actual work, meeting people and thinking about things other than my own silly life, well, that all feels pretty good actually.

But what I'm nervous about is the rest of my life. Like how I never did really spend any time with Evan this week, and I haven't seen Lil in ages and I've been missing her, and that's just a start. I never went in to the Ballard Fiore to see Kevin or Josie, and now I'm never going to see them because I used to go in on weekdays, in the afternoon, after time at my writing studio. And my writing studio! Poor writing studio.

I know, you have no sympathy for me. I can't blame you. I don't have any sympathy for myself either. In fact, I'm kind of tired of myself. Eight months of me time is a lot of ME. I learned that I love being on guest lists and getting VIP passes enough for it to be sort-of obnoxious to the people who have to hear about it later, that sometimes I take a joke too far and that even with all the time in the world, my apartment is still going to be messy and I am going to feel like a lazy writer and I probably won't get the oil changed in my car as often as I should.

On the bright side, I didn't turn into a lush or... well, I didn't turn into a lush.

Tonight I told the other Heather (who was the latest beneficent soul to feed my passion for VIP passes, thank you Hx B!) that all of this was surreal, and she said "It'll sink in after your morning latte." and you know what? I'm counting on her to be right. I'll always have the lattes.

Practicing being useless in anticipation of my uptown lifestyle

What do you think? Should we buy? Is TWO maid's rooms excessive?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

So we are in Vermont for the weekend. Only a month or two from now we won't be able to come up - per doctor's orders - so it's a mad scramble trying to get everything done and in tip-top shape before that happens.

Sadly, Eugene has to take care of most of it. I've tried helping with the wood stacking, but after 15 minutes I am wiped out. I am stuck with the inside duties - laundry, cooking, lazing about reading back issues of Elle Decor (hey - I could use a renewal on that and Metropolitan Home, if you are still wondering what to get me for my birthday!).

It's weird to be so.. umm.. weak.

I even had a hard time getting the cap off a new bottle of cranberry juice earlier. Megh.

At least the scenery is lovely - the trees are almost in full color. And it's exactly three years since we closed on this place. Which brings me to the next article of business.

We have put an offer in on an apartment. It's kind of a low offer (8% below asking) but we can only afford so much - ya know? And it has been on the market. So we're sitting here on tenterhooks (sp? that's a weird word, right? what is a tenterhook anyways?) waiting to hear a response.

I try to remind myself that, when we bought this place, there were other places we wanted first and despaired over losing. But things turned out beautifully in the end and we ended up with the best place for us. I have to have faith that the same will hold true with the apartment situation.

Life is full of disappointments, but I think in the end we end up where we are meant to be.

Plus, just thinking about the lifestyle change that will come with a new mortgage really sobers a girl up quick. We'll have to have a budget, people! A BUDGET!

Also, we aren't homeless or desperate. Which always helps to keep your brain straight when you're trying to remain rational about your housing situation. But the twins don't love to walk-up so much any more.

In the meantime the Elle Decors might be giving me too much fodder for my over-active imagination. Down girl! Down!

Yeah, There Are Other Changes in the Works Too

Like the fact that this is no longer my office.

I had a funny night last night. I say that a lot, I suppose, but it's often true. Sometimes funny means fall-off-the-couch, stitch-in-your side laughing, sometimes it's just odd. Or interesting. Mostly to me, not necessarily anyone else. Last night was like that. I went to see Kevin's band, Widower, which I, predictably, loved. That pedal steel just gets me every time. Still, by the end of the night, I was really ready to be home and done.

I fell asleep thinking about a bunch of things, but primarily about how convenient it is that I am just now getting tired of being 23 again. I've noticed this the last couple times I've gone out - around 12:30 I am just done, ready to go home, the magic spell has worn off and I am content to turn into a 35 year old pumpkin again.

On Monday I will be a working pumpkin again. That's right, I've been holding out on you all. I am once again gainfully employed, and I have to tell you, I'm pretty excited about it. I'd be even more excited about it if the fall clothing that's out in stores right now wasn't a mixture of maternity looking gear and faux mod retro. Boo to all that! I'm sticking with the pencil skirts.

Here are the things I'm excited for: being a morning regular at the coffee shop again, instead of an all-day regular, being able to walk to work if I want to, wearing pencil skirts and cashmere, working with scientists, and being part of an organization that is working to prevent, treat and eliminate pediatric diseases.

I was such a young bride... four long years ago

Haha just kidding, it's Euge's cousin/niece Olivia at her confirmation party...
she was one of our flower girls. Remember the clippity-clop?

Yes, it's that time of year.

Now I must reflect on being married and just how very far we've come and how old we seem to be getting. I must wax poetic on the joys of marriage and the wonder of our togetherness.

Megh.

This is the beginning of a whole new part of our lives and, even more so than those moments before Dad walked me down the aisle, I feel like we are at the top of the rollercoaster. Everything is about to speed up to a million miles an hour, turn upside down and inside out. My heart will leave my body. Twice

Luckily, I'm past the nausea part.

We are really enjoying this time, before we are parents (though, I suppose we are parents already - right?) I had a super fun birthday...

Me, Patty and Margaret at B-flat for my birthday - I stayed out 'til one AM!
Seltzer and lime juice - yu-mm-mee.

Saturday, we went to the Guinness and Oyster festival - which of course made me think of Dad... Guinness and oysters are good for babies right? Gwynnie drank Guinness when she was pregnant!

I kid, I kid.

Check it, he still likes to feel me up.

Then, on Sunday, we went apartment hunting.

Yikes.

There is so much that is changing, that is going to change and, while I am totally excited for it, I have to admit that sometimes it seems to bend my mind inside-out. So, for right now, sometimes it's fun to just enjoy what we have right now because when these babies come it's all over.

No, I'm kidding, that's just what people tell me. I don't really believe that it will all be over.

It will just be different.

Babies like Guinness and oysters, right?

Finally the Birthday Blog!

Shameless Self-Promoters, circa 1980

Dear dear Allison.

Okay, now that we are all done hailing the bump, it's my turn. I've been looking forward to saying Happy Birthday to you. It seems like one of those birthdays that will be, in spite of the random number (34, your secret's out) quite the milestone. Life pre and post twins!

But let me just tell you one thing - if you think that I'm going to let you leave behind your wild ways, well, you can forget about that. In fact, I predict that the twins will only make you more wild. I mean, it is going to take some work to keep those kids entertained, right, and you're going to have to impress them.

So, here are some things I'd suggest.

You could tell them about your days as a jazz singer, or your excellent performance as a ribbon girl for some very elite horse shows, about your modeling career, those days of being a barista in Seattle (that's rock-star-like, no?) about art school,your days at Marvel Comics, or Spin, or about that party where JLo or Prince or someone was there, or climbing in Mexico, or going to Europe with Dakota and Asa, or any of a million other things that I can't remember just now.

It's a funny thing, being someone's kid. The kinds of things I have listed above are the kinds of things they just won't know unless you tell them. So don't worry, I will tell them. I have notes, and I'm not afraid to use them. Not to mention photos, heh heh! I have to admit that I hope you have girls, if only so that I can utter the words- "Your mom won't let you what? Oh please... you should have seen when she..." though I'm sure I'll figure out what to say if the twins turn out to be boys. What would be the boy equivalent of wearing green eyeshadow up to your eyelid, anyway?

One thing I'm pretty sure about, though, is that I will never have to tell your twins any of the following about you:

- your mom is a big softie with a thoroughly generous heart
- your mom is hilariously funny
- your mom is tremendously, stubbornly loyal
- your mom is smart and creative and accomplished
- your mom is the most fun. Ever.

I'm not gonna have to tell them any of that, because all of it will always and every day be obvious to them.

Love you lots,
H